Welcome to this heart of mine. Paint your stories and trade your talents and Respect my truths.

I am just here to see if anyone commented and no. No one comments EVER.  Blogs are stupid and just not a very wise use of my time.  Because who really cares? No body. Merry Christmas

Wow, it has been 7 whole months since I've had time to remember that I have a mind say account. It's not like anyone I know really visits here anyway.  I don't have the extra time to blog about myself anymore, it is not all that exciting, mostly just humiliating.  I tried to start up my Art Studio in the down town area, and now I am suing the landlady.  I am still waiting to hear on the court date.  So now she has all my money from my lease, and is renting to another tenant, collecting rent on the very same unit, who probably actually did what she wanted them to do- which I refused to do- that is to put in a NON ADA CODE bathroom in where an existing one had been torn out- in a place of public service.  When I said "I simply can not and will not be doing that" she responded to that by evicting me without cause.   I am not going to break building inspection code for someone who just wants to save a buck.  How DO you keep a non code bathroom Hush Hush?  PEOPLE HAVE TO USE IT!!! Besides, four of my home schooled art students are children of a very big name Lawyer in a District Court in the City north of us.  What is she thinking -- that I am an idiot? that I could get them all to not use the bathroom and go along with her lack of respect for the law?  That on top of her other 6 or 7 counts against the lease agreement in the first month, it just didn't get any clearer that I was not able to rent from her anyway.  

 I am looking at the next location with an eagle's eye, not letting any question go unanswered.  So to pay for the lawyer, I had to take another long term substitute teaching assignment.  I was to teach there for a month, which turned out to be 7 weeks.  It really was a cool assignment, and I will miss my students very much.  When I left, it felt like 14 hearts getting ripped out of my chest all at once.  They are all so unique and I didn't think I could ever be so in love with a classroom in such a short time.  I was wrong.  I hope I can visit or sub for the new teacher as often as she needs me.  I hope they are all good for her and do their very best at all times. 

It just seems like when one good thing happens something horrific follows to even out the score.  Then when I am just recovering from the last horrific thing that happens,  I become suspicious of the next good thing that comes along.   It is an exhausting cycle.

Well, life goes that way.  Today I am getting the heck out of the house and going to a party with a friend and her new baby twin boys.  I get to hold two babies today.  That will always be good ...for about 18 more months at least.  It's a Christmas ornament exchange party.  So today will be good.  I'm really needing a few days off from all work commitments, just to get rested up and clean house. 

If you have any heart, leave a comment.

Here is a recent update of our back yard and the compromise we struck for our Son's Graduation Open House.  It (his graduation open house) has come and gone.  He's due to move out and start at OTC in six days!  His Open House party went really well, and he got some great gifts from many.  It lasted until 1:00 am around the bon fire out back.  I am still really tired from all the work it took to put it together, and very thankful for all the help from friends and relatives. Our yard is now re-landscaped, with a full head of green grass and only one large wood pile with a tarp separates us from our neighbor's pig pens.  So that I agreed to keep in place for the open house.  We lucked out and were loaned all the chairs, tables, coolers and tent!  I am so grateful!

  Right now we are working on putting up a pole barn roof in the back woods for the year's wood to go under -- and not under the tarps in the yard business!  That way next year when our Daughter graduates, she can have a  landscaping-stress-free Mom and Dad, a rut free yard, no junk or debris to trip over and flowers for all to admire.  He gets a road to his pole barn and I get no more ruts!  He gets no more tarp strained shoulders, and I get a full grass lawn again!  This is phase one, which includes my Pottery Kiln Shed and a new roof with a sky light over my kitchen.  I need him to take out some "wife insurance" so I don't go bazerko this next winter.  I need LIGHT!   Phase two will be the converted garage for more living space and a new basement level garage with an Art Studio/workshop above it for phase three.  There is finally a plan with the home equity loan to finance it and some light at the end of this tunnel!

I know that things were really shaky for a while between my hubby and I.  I didn't realize he needed a map of my limitations.  I just thought if you were married to someone, that they care about you and your feelings,  that you know them well enough to see, understand and respect their limits, and  that you do all it takes to learn what they put up with and won't put up with before you go hurting them over and over.  But I was wrong again.  Men need maps, and a legend and a NS & EW compass on everything that women expect.  ( Banging head into desktop in repetitious manner)  But if we women were to play dumb about our man's limitations like that, we'd be history in their lives.  They'd just dump us and move on to the next woman who cooks, cleans and sorts their dirty underwear while they sit in an air-conditioned office talking to sales reps in New York or Mexico, so they can come home and go straight out to work at their second job without a moment's glance her way, and come in expecting a hot meal and a warm bed.  (Okay, so I still have issues.  But it is finally coming to the point that we are working out our needs for respect.)

Here's my workaholic hubby doing his firewood business all over our back yard. (It looks like the Duke's of Hazardville, stuck ruts everywhere, wood mounds everyway you turn. There's only three months till our Son's High School Graduation party is to be held here. How are we ever going to clean this up???!!)  It's -4 temperature and there he is out there working like it's nothin.  Notice the lack of a coat? the lack of common sense?  brain cells?   Makes me feel like he'd rather be out there than in here.  I just enable this, I can't say no, cause he'll just do it anyway. It's out of control. We never see eachother anymore, except to brush our teeth, supper occasionally, and the other vital parts of the relationship are all but gone. I can't even tell when to trust that when he does stay home for a Saturday, that he'll make that committment ever again.  Okay, so we had a terrific day today ...so that he could feel like he was out of the Dog house with me (for getting my van stuck in the back yard to make the snow more packed for his truck not to get stuck), but I don't believe for one minute that it will ever happen again this next three months. I need help.  I need an WA meeting to join, anyone know of one I can join?  ...Or am I just jealous of his affair with the woods?

Hey world  -I have a real Teaching position now.  I teach 7th and 9th grade Science!  Earth Science and Physical Science, both two of my favorites.    I was called on Sept. 5th shortly after that Marty Robbins thing.  Luck or Blessing, I don't guess.  I know.   It is God.  Only He could tailor fit a position to me such as this.  So I've been teaching since September 11th, and loving every minute of it.  I love my School, I have good students and the Staff is Outstanding! So I am busy, too busy to blog, too busy to clean my own house it seems... I've always wanted a house keeper, hmm.... 

Sorry, I'll just check in here as comments are emailed to me.  There's papers to grade, tests and study guides to formulate, grade quick to set up, Rock and Mineral labs to look over, etc.